Swimming In Obama's Acetylcholine

Last night The Radical Moderate was granted unfettered access to a space between an axon and a dendrite in Barack Obama's mind. The following is an unedited recording of what we heard.

Damn, I am so tired , and so jazzed up that I can't stop. Who would have thought I would be in this position a year ago. Who could have thought it? Only with a handful of heavy duty drugs, man. Miss my mom . Wish she could have been here to see this. She would be laughing her ass off. Hope granny lives to see it. How cool. Hope she can come to Washington to see the inaugural. Too much to hope for but she can see it on TV.

Two days. I've got to keep his up for two more days. Then got to keep them from trying to steal it. I've got lawyers ready in Ohio and Florida if the Republicans try to pull the same shit they always do. Damn, folks are standing in line six hours to vote for me. Fuckin' incredible. I know I have this thing wrapped up if there are no surprises. Please, Please, Russia, don't get stupid and invade some place again. That'll just make folks afraid and vote for McCain. I've got this thing wrapped up. Dear God! I'm gonna be president of the UNITED FUCKING STATES OF AMERICA! I wonder what it will be like. That Secret Service bubble is gonna strangle me, but they sure as shit don't want to see some whacko off me like Kennedy. Those two nut-bars in Tennessee, man , I'm sure there are a lot of others like them who don't want to see a "nigger" president. I've seen some of those things going around the internet. Hell, if Colin Powell had the balls, he would have been the first black president, but his wife didn't want to go through all this shit. Michelle's been great about all this. So have the kids. I owe them a lot.

Let's see, Let's see, what do I have to do next? I'm blasting McCain all over the fuckin' map. Even have him trying to cover his ass in his own home state. My infomercial was a hit. Monster hit. Home Run with bases loaded.And that guy can't even read a teleprompter. Cleaned his clock in the debates, too!

let's see... I've got the northeast sewn up. I've got the West Coast. Looks like I'm dead certain in all the states Kerry carried in 04. I've got tons of money and I'm attacking John here it hurts most.. Arizona, Georgia, North Carolina, Virginia. Man, what a trip if I beat him in Arizona. I'm attacking in the South. Blacks are gonna turn out like never before for me. Florida. Don't know. The Jews still don't trust me, and I think the "youth vote" will never show up. Might lose Florida, but it will be close. Pennsylvania. I need Pennsylvania. If I get Penn a lot of others are going to fall into place.If I get Penn, I don't need Ohio. I'll send Joe Biden there. They love him there. He was born there. I'll send him to every frikin' diner and outhouse. I'll have him knock on every door he can find. Hillary. They love her there, too. I'll send her around. I'll hit Philly and Pittsburgh to get those big crowds pumped up and to get the media. Don't need Missouri, but it's too close to give it up. Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada. Gotta get there and hit them hard. I need Colorado and either New Mexico or Nevada and I win.

I'd love to get a landslide. Just blow the doors off the Republicans. Get a mandate and run with it. Shut up Rush and those assholes. Come to think of it, they would love to see me elected. It'll keep them in business for another eight years.

Economy sucks. We can get it together. I've got Volker, I've got Buffet, I've got Rubin. Heavy hitters! Like the '27 Yankees. I can be like Roosevelt and get us moving. Kids will read about me. Trippy!

Two days left. gotta keep running. Those radio guys say I'm measuring the drapes in the White House.. Damn I'd love to measure the bed there. Wonder what it would be like to nail Michelle in the Lincoln Bedroom. Trippy! Couple of blacks doin' the nasty in the Lincoln Bedroom. Bet old Abe would laugh his ass off.

Damn, I am so tired! Two days. Two Days!